To be disabled means to be "unable to function in some way". Blindness or deafness or paralysis are obvious disabilities. They can be clearly seen, but there are other disabilities which can not be so readily observed and hence are often misunderstood. For example, depression, and emotional and mental disorders.

There may be a variety of causes of these disabilities. For example, many of our brothers and sisters before coming into the Truth have been subjects of child abuse, incest, and molestation, or were from dysfunctional families, where one or both of the parents were alcoholics or addicted to drugs and little love was shown them in their childhood, greatly affecting their thinking and the way they view themselves and others. Some have been so hurt that they have created an exaggeratedly repulsive or aggressive personality.

Some of our brothers and sisters have chemical imbalances that cause depression and personality disorders. Others have illnesses that may cause hormonal imbalances that make it difficult to function and get along with others. Others have physical problems along with chemical imbalances and hormones that are the cause of negative and critical thinking, hostility and anger. Often these problems hinder them from putting on the "new personality" or may cause them to lose it and they don't know why! How spiritually devastating it can be for one to become dysfunctional in regard to their Christian personality!

If we can "widen out" by coming to understand these disabilities just as much as we understand the disabilities of our blind or paralyzed brothers and sisters, we can--instead of
criticizing these dear friends--HELP them! They need our love and compassion and understanding just as much as our other brothers with severe disabilities.

This treatise by Dr. Jay Smith, consulting psychologist, is extremely enlightening and helpful for understanding the emotional and mental disabilities of our brothers and sisters. It is not meant to diagnose or promote any kind of treatment or medication. It is simply meant to help us better understand these particular disabilities.

THE DYSFUNCTIONAL CHRISTIAN PERSONALITY AND THE SECRET PERSON OF THE HEART
- Consulting Psychologist

In the science of human behavior there are those who have  analogized the human character with an ONION, which has several layers  and when peeled back one by one, will eventually reveal a CORE.   This core is supposed to be the purest part of the human  organism. It is not, of course, a literal core having space and   definition. It is a non-tangible construction, a hypothesis. It is  where, in theory, we have housed all the existential motors that drive  us through life, I.e. our need for love, for God, for power, justice and mercy.  "THE SECRET PERSON OF THE HEART":  It is this CORE that most represents and substantiates our   self-definition. Who we believe ourselves to be, in other words, it is  mostly WHAT WE ARE at the core.  The core need not, and most often is not, synonymous with or  even similar to the layers that protect the core. WHAT WE INTUITIVELY  FEEL WE ARE DEEP WITHIN, is covered over and hidden from most others,  and frequently from ourselves, with large variances from person to  person.  The CORE is the vault that PROTECTS AND SECURES our hidden  convictions about ourselves and the world around us. The Bible calls  this core the "secret person of the heart". (Compare 1 Peter 3:4 ) ...which is connected with "the seat of emotions and   motivations". It is the place we must look to determine and explain how   we feel and why we do things..."  That this CORE, our "secret person of the heart", is a  secret to others does not surprise us. We have often realized instinctively that very few persons, if any, know  us that deeply. When someone expends their resources and energy to peel away the OUTER LAYERS  of our organism and discover the secret us, we feel delighted, although  somewhat apprehensive initially. We grow from it and thrive on it.   But this SECRET CORE can also be moderately, or largely a  secret to US as well. Paul emphasized this at 1 Corinthians 4:4. If our own behavior can escape  our notice or understanding then certainly our emotions and motivations  can.   Grateful we can be that Jehovah is not limited to  evaluating us or others on the basis of the OUTER LAYERS of the onion,  as it were. "For not the way man sees is the way God sees, because mere  man sees what appears to the eyes; but as for Jehovah, he sees what the   HEART is." [1 Samuel 16:7]

"Well", we might ask, "if Jehovah sees the HEART, and man   cannot, or most generally does not, then what is it we are seeing when  we are with our brothers and sisters or people in general?"  The Bible separates the human organism into various  experiences and aspects. There is the activity of the organism,  observable behavior, empirical action, what we practice. And to a large   extent, this will determine whether we get everlasting life or not. The   angels observe it, and Christ considers it. [2 Corinthians 5:10] 

POWERS OF REASON:
There is the left brain, which deals primarily with the  analytical process, including facts, numerical data, problem solving by  cognition, logic, rational powers, reason, etc. This is alluded to in  Romans 7:23,25 by Paul as "the law of the mind." With this we come to  the logical conclusion that the truth is the truth because evidence  dictates it is so. With this law of he mind, we battle either  counterproductive elements within the organism and we learn to "benefit  ourselves". It is an important part of sacred service and is controlling  the organism from less rational and more instinctive/unproductive   tendencies. These tendencies are constantly being tickled and  titillated by the media, and so in Romans 12:2 the concept of not being  molded, fashioned, formed, sculptured by this system and its propaganda  follows immediately the reference to the power of reason (left brain).

EMOTIONS:
Next and perhaps that which is our greatest source of joy   and our greatest bane are the EMOTIONS. Sometimes our emotions are so  vivid and we experience them with such clarity that there is little  doubt about what is transpiring. This was so with Joseph, as can be  seen in Genesis 43:30: "Joseph was now in a hurry, because his inward emotions  were excited toward his brother so that he looked for a place to  weep..."  INTUITIVE THINKING:  There is also a thought process that is less logical and  less orchestrated than the rational process. It is "intuitive thinking"  (suspected to be the right side of the brain). This can also solve  problems, but with less direction and more intuition. People have solved  problems in their sleep. In fact, the man that discovered the concept  of neurotransmitters did so in his sleep. He dreamt that the electrical   messages floated from one neuron to another through a fluid. When he  awoke the next morning he had forgotten the solution as he had dreamt  it; the next night he reportedly dreamt it again, but troubled himself  to write it down immediately after dreaming it. This COGNITIVE PROCESS  is much more subtle and far less accessible.  And there are emotions that we experience that are clearly  less easily defined and can move us into action without even notifying  us that they are present and operating.   Based on brain research, by Wilder Pennsfield, T.A. mental  health professionals state that the brain records, recalls, and relives.   This can be done AT THE DEEPEST LEVELS so that we could  experience something and have no idea why.   THE PERSONALITY:  Last, but not least, is the personality. It is mentioned in  two chapters of the Bible. Ephesians 4:22,24 discusses the "old personality" as something that can  be "put away" and the "new personality" as something that can be "put   on".   Colossians 3:9 tells us to "strip off the old personality  with its practices" and 3:10 instructs us to "clothe yourselves with  the new personality."   The personality is closely associated with what the body  practices and our course of conduct. Hence, the personality, which is  described as being on the outside of the organism, like clothing or like  a veneer that can be stripped off, is that part of our organism that we  present to others.

It is observable like behavior or conduct and is quite often  how others evaluate us. It is the ambassador of the soul or THE  REPRESENTATIVE OF THE "SECRET PERSON OF THE HEART".  The personality of the organism is the "KEEPER OF THE GATE  OF THE CORE". It can decide to let us in or keep out any individuals it  so wishes. And quite often the personality is quite different than the  secret person of the heart. It could be an extension of the core, but   often it is the GUARDIAN of the core. The personality serves the purpose of   keeping threatening individuals from seeing, touching, hurting the  secret person of the heart.  Samuel inferred to Jesse that Jehovah was not looking at   personalities or physical stature, but rather the "heart" when selecting   David. Jehovah knew David at the CORE and chose him on that basis,  although the selection may not have made sense to those observing.  We might know a person's personality very well as it relates  to our experience of that person. However, Harry Stack Sullivan, the father of interpersonal psychiatry  suggested that the personality was not a CONSTANT but rather a FLUID,  viscous, changing presentation. He said the personality would shift and  alter to meet current circumstances, in order to PROTECT or ENHANCE the  organism's most immediate needs.   A person may have an inter-personal style with five people  in a room and the entrance of one more person could alter the delivery  of the personality in quality and quantity. In short, we can be  partially accurate in our assessment of a person's personality as it is  within in our presence, but we are not authorized or qualified to remark   on that personality as it may be with others.   ...Certainly behavior and personality are not  unimportant...the writer suggests that although the personality may vary  and fluctuates from moment to moment that THE CORE IS SOLID AND   RESISTANT TO CHANGE, SLOW TO BE MODIFIED, FEARFUL OF ALTERATION.   The core is heritage and experience (mostly socialization)  is the emotional and motivational theme of our life. Our own emotional  style and drives and needs do not change from day to day; they vacillate  very little. The CORE or "secret person of the heart" has its  consistent needs, its ever-present fears and insecurities. These are  firm.   But again, are there any circumstances in which an  organism's personality can no longer function to protect the core and   begins to act in a way destructive to the organism?  Are there also times when the "secret person of the heart"  is so fearful and hurt that it must create a personality that is  exaggeratedly REPULSIVE OR AGGRESSIVE? [COMPARE: Proverbs 18:19) The  following are case histories in which this is so: (names have been  changed)   CASE  HISTORIES:  RANDY:  Randy was raised in the truth and served as an elder for a  decade. He was loved and sought after as a source of counsel. He  poured himself out for his family, friends and Jehovah. In l972, while  serving as an elder, Randy began developing headaches and backaches. He also developed bruxism (grinding the teeth while sleeping). Randy  sought medical help. He also developed insomnia and after a handful of  environmental and inter-personal stresses BECAME DEPRESSED.  Again, he sought further medical help with little or no  relief. As Randy's condition worsened and he went from doctor to doctor  and psychiatrist to psychiatrist, HIS PERSONALITY BEGAN TO DETERIORATE.  From l972 to l985, he ran the gamut of anti-depressants,  tranquilizers, headache remedies and sleeping medicine. He went through  six doctors and five mental health professionals.  He saw craniologists, nutritionists, chiropractors, colonic therapists, deep message therapists and was institutionalized twice in his state. Randy's  congenial personality, his self-sacrificing nature became totally lost   in the jungle of melloril, tricyclates, MAO inhibitors, thorazine,  valium and at least l7 other medications that physicians prescribed for  him.  When he called me I suggested that he come to see me. There  was enough disturbance in his childhood to suggest socialization was  part of the problem but not the majority. I could relieve headaches to  some degree with massage, but he did not respond to vitamins, minerals,  amino acids or even to many medications. He had a tremendous tolerance  to ingested elements. Randy responded for a short time to Nardil  (however, it was discovered later that Nardil was actually aggravating  his condition) but shortly began to worsen.  He became hostile, irritable, unreasoning, completely ego-centric and selfish, critical and overbearing. He began to use language not typical of his character. He would move rapidly through   laughter, tears and anger... during this time Randy ideated on  suicide...   I suggested to Randy that he call...who works with hundreds  of Jehovah's witnesses and takes an approach that is very  ortho-molecular (bio-cellular) and very thorough. He eventually recommended that Randy enter ...hospital and get an E.E.G.   In 14 years of medical treatment, no one had ever prescribed one. A prominent neurologist administered the electro-encephalogram and  said it was normal. At this point Randy's personality is completely changed to a Mr. Hyde. He yells and screams and criticizes his wife, who has been as faithful a woman as a man could hope for. He turns on his doctors and is outrageous.  Dr....looked at his chart and studied the E.E.G. results.  He diagnosed Randy as having TEMPORAL LOBE SYNDROME (non-epileptic seizure activity in temporal lobe) He was in a state of disbelief at the NEUROLOGIST'S MISTAKE!  Dilantin was prescribed and after three administrations of  medicine Randy was on the road to recovery. His personality was returning.  WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO RANDY?

Dr. Alverez in his book on Nerves in Collision, goes into great detail on this disorder that can destroy a person's personality.  It totally interrupts absorption and can create uncontrollable fits of  rage and aggression. Randy has not had one hostile episode since being on Dilantin.  He was also diagnosed as having T.M.J. (temporal mandibular  joint dysfunction). He saw a dentist specializing in TMJ treatment, got  a plate and his headaches were gone.   Throughout all of this, Randy WAS NEVER IRREGULAR IN HIS TIME PREACHING. Randy and his family are reunited and recovering from A DECADE AND A HALF OF MAL-PRACTICE and an almost unbearable ordeal.  Randy's personality had left control. The short-circuiting of the brain on the the temporal lobe HAD ROBBED HIM OF HIS CHRISTIAN PERSONALITY, BUT NOT HIS CORE!  It  returned almost immediately after administration of the correct medicine.  

SUSAN:
Susan had always been a good Christian. She loved the truth and tried to stay active as a sister, wife, and mother. But her  energy level had been very low for a long time. She was victimized by  depression, skin disorders, loss of hair in places and she had been hospitalized twice for nervous breakdown.  She had been to a nutritionist and he had put her on an intensive program but that failed to relieve it...she had had her entire  endocrine system checked by an endocrinologist and he gave her a  complete okay.  She had resolved that her life would always be this way and  her husband who had not had sexual relations with her for three years  because she was totally uninterested and could not bring herself to  perform, said it was "all in her head". Hence, I got a phone call from  her.  I told her that she had a lot of the classic symptoms of   HYPOTHYROIDISM. She referred me to the extensive tests that she had had  and said that would be impossible. I asked her if her husband ever  complained about her body temperature being cold in bed and she said  yes. With that I recommended she give herself the Barnes' Basal  Metabolism Test...She had a five day average of 95.9.  In his book: Solved: The Riddle of Illness, Stephen  Langer, MD explains why such hypothyroidism escapes detection with blood  tests. He worked with Broda Barnes, a world respected endocrinologist  who developed the Basal Metabolism Test. Langer also explains why the  test is more reliable than blood analysis and why hypothyroidism goes  too often undetected. The thyroid orchestrates the metabolic rate of the body and hence seriously influences sex drive, energy level, mood, menstrual  conditions, skin conditions, hair quality and often times obesity.  I referred Susan to Dr. C. who...prescribed a low dose of  Armour Thyroid (thyroxin). Within a week, the basal temperature had  risen to 97.6 for a five day average which is within the acceptable  range of 97.6 to 98.4. Her skin cleared up within l0 days, her other  symptoms disappeared as well. And her husband remarked that it was a   shame that Susan had to suffer all those years when only a $4;.00   prescription could have taken care of the matter. She was delighted to realize that it was not "all in her head".   Her husband claims that their intimate aspects have  returned, she is alive and happy and feels good about herself.  Susan's personality had been depression, negative, and  often permeated with rancor and disdain. When the ORGANIC PROBLEM was  removed SHE BECAME A DIFFERENT PERSONALITY.   RITA:  Rita came to see me when she revealed that her husband,  an elder of many years was in the planning steps of leaving, as he had had enough of her. He had told the brothers he could not live with his  wife any longer, and that he was "stepping down". She came to see me in desperation, in tears and in excessive hostility. She came expressing quite candidly that she didn't blame her husband and that she wondered how he had been able to put up with her for so long. She told  me the story of how she had yelled, screamed, verbally abused both him and the two year old daughter consistently from day to day.  She described obsessive/compulsive behaviors, fanatically cleaning the house almost without let up. She pioneered every month, and could out run, out walk and out talk any person. Rita's energy level was peerless. Her hostility level and ability to   hold grudges was amazing. People knew not what to expect of her...Rita  would come out of a rage and not even remember what or how she had spoken.  A basic vitamin program was suggested that might help her to rebuild what must have been a devastated nervous system...this had a modest effect...I referred her to Dr. C. and asked him to consider the possibility of pure manic behavior. She was given l000 mgs. of Lithium a day and the aggressive and hostile behavior stopped immediately.  Rita's personality which was established to be manic, which is thought to be a CHEMICAL IMBALANCE IN THE SALT CONTENT IN AND AROUND  THE CELLS OF THE BRAIN was intolerable. She had no control over it, and  it was obviously ruining her life.  She had no friends, and her future was bleak, although  pioneering and keeping a clean house sustained her. Her husband  returned home after he was gone only one day but didn't dare to trust  this change. He had seen her vacillate before.  Six weeks passed and it convinced him that she was  different. The interesting thing is that her husband says she is trying  very hard. She insists that she is not trying as hard to be mellow and  calm as she used to. "It comes NATURALLY", she said. "It just happens."  It is almost as if Rita's core were ready to bud and bloom  as soon as THE ORGANIC PROBLEM was corrected. And as the serum blood level of the Lithium begins to reach peak therapeutic levels, she gets better and better. They are very happy and no more yelling. 

FRED:
Fred is a full time servant the NYC area. He was referred by a local elder in his congregation. He had emotional problems for l5  years. He came to me having recently seen another doctor in the Jersey  area. He was on Toferall and Mellorill for depression. I pursued  questions along a few avenues and gave Fred a mood chart that is  designed to help determine whether it might be manic-depression. Fed  disclosed a l5 year history of swinging from highs in energy, creativity, sexual feelings, planning, and productivity to lows  in the same areas. The cycle seemed to be on an approximately two and a half month cycle. I again referred him to Dr. Cott with the suggestion to pursue manic-depression and he was given a prescription for lithium and taken off the anti-depressants. He called three weeks later and said that things were much better. He had been in love for quite some  time but had never married because he could not resolve the recurring depressions.  Dr. Ronald Fieve, who pioneered lithium use in this country makes plain that manic depression will not respond to anything outside of lithium. It can easily be misdiagnosed as depression or ...bad spiritual conduct, etc....Lithium will begin, usually, to work very quickly, within a few days.  THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SPIRITUAL PERSONS IN THE WORLD have had their personalities destroyed by manic disorder and/or manic depression. They have become as persons possessed, but when Lithium was administered and the sodium imbalance adjusted, the personality originally representing the core was returned.   

OTHER CONDITIONS WHICH HINDER PUTTING ON THE NEW PERSONALITY:
There are several other things that can ruin the natural  flow of the personality, things, conditions which would make it impossible to put on the new personality. Severe Diabetes 1 and 2 both carrying an influence that pushes the organism towards neuroses. To many health professionals the term Diabetes Neuroses is not a novel term. One  sister on Long Island would do r fine while on insulin and a good nutritional program, but she refused to stick with it. She too would erupt into rage and fits of anger. She had to be disfellowshipped... There are three types of mental and emotional  dysfunctions as many mental health professionals see it. There is:

THE REACTIVE:
such as when someone dies, a job is lost, a house is burnt,  bankruptcy, etc. The congregation and the elders and scriptural  encouragement work wondrously here. Jehovah's spirit can lift this type  of problem relatively quickly. For this, "strength beyond what is normal" can pull an individual through every time if they lean on Jehovah and  not their own understanding.

ENDOGENOUS OR ORGANIC OR BIO-CHEMICAL:
That is to say that the depression, anxiety or whatever, has its original cause in some kind of PHYSICAL PROBLEM...in an imbalance of a chemical and/or physical nature in the organism.  John Hopkins, Harvard Medical School and the University of  PA Medical School and the American Association of Suicidology have all demonstrated that there  is a direct link between the serotonin levels of the brain and whether a  person will commit suicide...Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that   signals the nervous system to calm down.  

P.M.S.
One sister had a terrible history of P.M.S. and was being treated in the P.M.S. Clinic in Boston. They were unable to help her  with the hormones but she began trying Oil of Evening Primrose at their suggestions, and it did help. She read the book DLPA  by Harry Fox, M.D. and found that D-L Phenylalanine can lead to increased levels of norapenephrine and L-Dopa in the brain, both lifting depression and reducing the pain. DLPA has in  some cases helped sisters regain their personalities that had been lost in the miasma of  P.M.S. or menopause.  It is a wonderful experience to be able to help remove  endogenous related personality collapse. The friends more quickly  recover and seem to jump right back into service as their condition allows them. It can cause tremendous spiritual difficulties  TO LOSE YOUR PERSONALITY AND NOT KNOW WHY. The friends' greatest fear is that they have demons, or Jehovah has left them or they have sinned  against the Holy Spirit, or that they are losing their minds.  When it is endogenous, it is crucial to find it and relieve it with whatever tool will help, traditional or otherwise.... 

COGNITIVE:
The third type of problem is cognitive; it has to do with our thinking. Cognitive therapy deals with accessible convictions that are harming the organism and convictions that are deeper (unconscious) usually established during the first 15 years of  life. Most of these are established before adolescence... Strangely enough a thinking disorder can often follow physical problems that are draining a person's energy and drive. If they are "feeling low" because of organic difficulties they might begin to feel guilty and inadequate due to doing less than they used to or less than others are doing....The devil would love to make us  feel inadequate and is looking for opportunities to do so.  Last year, ...a brother in his presentation aptly highlighted that no matter what is going on with a person their faith is  being tested by their problems. If a person is to be successful in keeping their integrity while having organic based emotional problems, THEY MUST BE HELPED IN KEEPING THEIR THOUGHTS ABOUT THEMSELVES ACCURATE AND ON BASE.  It helps to get a brother or sister to see the separation between the mind and body. Have they begun to define themselves by their sickness or limitations? Have they been comparing themselves with others? Do they believe that  Jehovah does not take into consideration their problems? Are their  expectations unrealistic? Are they afraid that others in the congregation are negatively evaluating them because they "do not keep up"?  It may help to go over important scriptural examples on Jehovah's understanding. Examples like Job might prove helpful. When he was a universal spectacle and being the focus of the heavenly court all he was doing was sitting on the ground, scraping himself, attending  to his sickness. However, in his mind, IN HIS CORE, he loved God and refused to abandon him. At this point, it was not Job's productivity that the angels were watching. It was his ATTITUDE.  FRIENDS WHO ARE HAVING PHYSICAL PROBLEMS NEED NOT RESPECT THEMSELVES LESS FOR DOING LESS. They can produce or accomplish what  their limitations will allow, be it thyroid, candida albicans, allergies, old age, manic depression, etc. and stay attached to Jehovah in their symbolic heart of hearts (devotion).

COGNITIVE DISTORTION:
We as witnesses know what the truth over a period of time does. It changes our perspective of the world and our perceptions of people and ourselves. Over a time, we are feeding the mind
on an entirely different type of programming, God's word.

In some individuals studying God's Word can make dynamic changes that seem to remain stable. OTHERS SEEM TO HAVE REAL DIFFICULTIES MAKING THE TRUTH WORK, even though they realize it is the truth.

...it can be stated safely that many of those who are struggling with aspects of the truth might be assisted to adjust more easily with professional help, to excavate and reduce/eliminate unproductive inaccurate thinking. These unconscious convictions that make up the threads and fibers of the core, the secret person of the heart, are difficult to reach AND THEY ARE HEAVILY GUARDED. But, there is a procedural method for helping those who might have unconscious convictions that are inhibiting them from further progress in the truth.

But what do I mean by unconscious convictions and who might have such in the truth that would be hindered by them?

VICTIMS OF INCEST, MOLESTATION & ABUSE;
CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLICS & NEUROTIC OR MENTALLY-ILL PARENTS:

The truth is drawing those in the world who have been skinned and tossed about. This includes tremendous numbers of incest victims, molestation victims, adult children of alcoholics, adult children of extremely neurotic parents, adult children of parents who were children of alcoholism, persons who were raised in a home environment that was characterized by screaming and abusive speech, adult children of battering, adult children of drug abusing parents, adult children of mentally ill parents and so on.

Persons in these groups have their most tender years so twisted and perverted that the normal psycho-social development, as Jehovah intended, never took place for them. They have
enormous amounts of pain and bitterness; frustration and guilt circulating consistently within the secret person of their heart. These persons never received the basic human needs during their budding years that the Family book mentions in Chapter 2, Page 15: "...someone to be close to, to confide in, to reveal ourselves to without fear of being hurt, someone who will not shut 'the door of his tender compassion's upon us".

Without the receipt, regularly and positively of the irreplaceable childhood needs, such as affection, attention, acceptance, approval and appreciation, a person would find it difficult to develop courage, self-esteem, self-respect, confidence and peace of mind. Instead, the person would grow up under condemnation and criticism, ignorance and pain, rejection and dissatisfaction. This would create a core filled with guilt, recrimination, self loathing, frustration, fear and a host of debilitating emotions.

After years of pain and hurt and humiliation and a plethora of toxic psychological experiences, the child begins to build its defenses in the personality. It may choose an aggressive or passive mode, but it will rarely be healthy assertiveness. Karen Morney said that people could move towards (assertiveness), against (aggressive), or away from (passive/withdrawal). There are several variations on all these themes, but the thought seems to hold weight.

When the child experiences extreme trauma and psychological/emotional deprivation, it develops a personality that will protect the core from further hurt. The personality that will protect the core from such may be a frightening one that keeps others at bay. It may be an extremely shy and passive personality that carries the strategy of keeping themselves away from others. At any rate many persons have come into the truth with such personalities that serve only the purpose of protecting the core. Even the Family book notes the enduring nature of the childhood scars and their effect on adult life when it says: "If a child is emotionally deprived over a period of time, it may b stunted emotionally for the rest of its life." In short, childhood pain can be so great that it directs and orchestrates the organisms psycho-social activities and engagements for the rest of its life.

Most of this pain is stored outside of conscious awareness. It, nonetheless, motivates and steers the person through every relationship, EVEN THE ONE WITH GOD.

VICKY:
Vicky had been without a father. He had been in prison for incest. When he got out he began to force Vicki into sexual relations [and various perverted forms of it]. He would do this with her and her sister simultaneously while her brothers watched on, only after they had been ordered to strip naked. After his intercourse with Vicki, he would beat all five brothers mercilessly with a bat. . . This took place for 11 years, and at least on a weekly basis. Often times it was more.

Vicki, like most incest victims swung into promiscuity. She became a practicing whore and was involved with drugs. Then came the truth and she, like many incest victims, swung to excessive sexual denial (every desire became a major sin). She was pioneering, but had a reputation for being curt, short, critical and very cold and mechanical. Although she was studying five hours a day, pioneering, keeping an immaculate house, going to all the meetings (some of this was at the compulsive level) she was very unhappy and had suicidal ideations.

When we first began talking she looked for every opportunity to be hostile with me. I made it my point to never, never retaliate. I accepted her hostility and made it clear that it was only natural for what she had been through. I communicated only acceptance, approval, appreciation, affection and this would enrage her all the more. I told her that since she was her own worst critic and enemy, someone had to stick up for her. After six sessions she admitted that she was very frightened because she had decided to trust me. She cried and told me that she had never trusted anyone. Not elders, not sisters, not anyone, not even Jehovah, because He was a male.

She would send me poems about how she was opening up to Jehovah and beginning to trust Him and pray to Him for the first time. Coming to the point where she could trust me, a man, allowed the personality to relax and the core to emerge into the open. Therapy is now over and Vicky has been approached by all her friends at the hall. They do not fear her any more and can relax with her and get to know her. She has relaxed within herself.

The personality is no longer strictly a guard at the gate, but now serves as a vehicle for the secret person of the heart to express herself. Friends like Vicki have an enormous obstacle. Their core goes completely unknown to others and largely to themselves. Others cannot approach because the personality is so threatening or so distant. That being the case, we cannot interact or even begin to sense the core. This is tragic. . .

We enjoy relationships where we know others intimately, but it is when they are known and accepted at the core that they relax and blossom. I know several persons that I may not love, however, when I am known I feel compelled to love that person who has intimate knowledge of me and uses it in a way that does not threaten me. . .

But there are Jehovah's witnesses who go unknown and therefore, do not love in a full sense. Being known allows us to love. We need not be dismayed or put off by the aggressive approach of our brothers when it is based on pain or hurt. (Genesis 34:7) We need not be discouraged with those who flee interpersonally because they are afraid. Love is the answer to that. Love and fear are mutually exclusive. Where love resides fear cannot abide. (1 John 4:8). . .

We can always admonish a person to modify their personality through loving counsel; however, we must remember that the personality is only a shell for some, not a true reflection of the inner person. This thought leads to always confirm, affirm our love and the appreciation for what we know/suspect lies deep within, under all the defenses. The Bible confirms that people can have a shell that is not a reflection of the inner person and that to find the human treasure within we must melt the shell that protects the core. (Romans 12:20; Proverbs 25:22)

In ancient times hot coals were put out as a bed and raw metal ore was laid on top; then the ore would be covered with more coals. This would eventually melt the ore to the point where the chaff and rare metal would separate. By heat from the coals the metal ore would soften and the good stuff would be removed from the bad.

For us in the congregation or in mental health those coals are the four needs in Chapter 2 of the Family book. When we consistently give these to an individual whose personality is mostly a defense we begin to soften them and help them to separate the repulsive defense system from the treasureable core. When we help them to do this, then we can see the inner person and get "to know them". Then they begin to feel secure and can begin expressing the love they have been yearning to give, to let the inner person see the light of day in human relationships and with God. This natural process is reflected in the greatest commands and in the January 22, l986 Awake! we are reminded that productive love for oneself comes before productive love for others. Respect and peace with others comes only after we establish that within.

Cognitive therapy plows gently through the maze of people's defenses and why they have them. It helps them to see where these defenses are helpful and where/when they are destructive. It helps to redefine and re-evaluate sources of fear, guilt, frustration and anger. It refines a person's thinking to have more of a flavor of reality in their relationships with others and self. Some excellent publications for cognitive therapy are: Feeling Good; New Mood Therapy, by David Burns. An excellent publication of guilt and fear is Love is Letting Go of Fear, by Gerald Jampolsky. On communication it is Human Being, by William Pletsch. To understand the science of adult children of alcoholism, read Adult Children of Alcoholics, by Janet Woltitz. To more realize what neurotic socialization can do to children, I recommend, Neurosis is a Painful Style of Living, by Samuel Greenburg, M.D.

The times are complex and relationships and individual psychological profiles reflect that. When we interact with the friends/clients/patients it helps to remember that underneath the veneer of faded pine, there is the beauty of oak, or mahogany. Underneath the aggression or passivity of a personality there is a human treasure waiting to be released by love - OUR love . It is waiting to be known, to be discovered, and to be accepted. This inner self is not known to them, frequently and similarly it is not known to us. Therefore, being unknown, it is unaccepted and they cannot be freed to love others.

So remembering that the personality is not the core or secret person of the heart we will not be easily fooled. When the personality deteriorates due to REACTIVE EMOTIONAL DYSFUNCTION we can surround that friend with love and affection until the healing is done. When the personality is in distress due to ORGANIC PROBLEMS we can begin to swim through the maze of traditional and non-traditional forms of diagnosis and treatment, being open-minded yet not irresponsible.

The welfare of the organism pre-emanates over the pet theories we embrace. When the problem is organic in its matrix we can continue to assure them that Jehovah accepts their core and their service; thus, helping them not to mesh their illness with their individual spirit. When the problem is COGNITIVE we can pursue the mechanics of the unconscious convictions and the defenses in the personality. Doing this while we continue to be undaunted in our acceptance of them as individuals. We can refuse to accept their personality but never their core. We can help release the core or inner person when it is shrouded by layers and layers of protective devices. We can remember to surround them with the coal-bed of our tender affections so as to help them soften and distinguish their goodness.

It is often safe to associate less desirable personalities with low self-esteem, guilt, anger and fear cycles. Often we must make it our assignment to teach persons how to love themselves, discover their core, relax with the friends, to trust and believe. This begins a whole truth-related process as stated in Philippians 1:9-11. When we show these ones who are alienated from themselves how wonderful and special they are as individuals - reflections of the Creator's character, they can begin to reduce the alienation between them and other friends.

Haughtiness certainly alienates one from God, but so inevitably will diminished self-image. As one brother said in response to Romans 12:3 (not to think more of himself than it is necessary to think): "Don't think so much of yourself that Jehovah WILL NOT use you, and don't think so little of yourself that Jehovah CANNOT use you."

Brothers with dangerously low self-esteem cannot perceive the scriptures or publications correctly. They are rarely encouraged by literature (a problem of theirs, not the literature). These ones are made to feel inadequate and guilty every time "Mother" recommends pioneering and they are not. For them, quite often, acceptability can only be achieved through complete and total perfection. They do not feel any satisfaction in their daily sacrifice to Jehovah. They cannot understand Jehovah's mercy and understanding and his capacity to view us as individuals. When even helpful suggestions in the Watchtower become threatening a person begins to fall apart spiritually. When commendations from the "slave class" are not perceived and admonitions are overreacted to, can a person last in the truth?

Truly, as the last days come to a close, Jehovah's people have tremendous needs. The Faithful and Discreet Slave Class and Christ Jesus have provided an abundance spiritually in every way. It is suggested that those working in professional capacities with Jehovah's witnesses have a great challenge in ferreting out the real source of any personality/ethos dysfunction. IT IS HOPED THAT THIS PAPER WILL BE OF SOME ASSISTANCE, OR FOOD FOR THOUGHT.

A WORLD WITHOUT TEARS

Just think of a world, a world without tears,
Where a man can live for a million years
With never a grief, no ache or pain,
And never a thought of dying again.

Think of a world when a man plans a vine.
He can sit in its shade and say, "This is mine."
He can live in the house his own hands made,
And nought shall molest or make him afraid.

Think of a world without bloodshed or strife,
Where no man dare take another man's life,
Where man unto man will unite in peace,
And malice and hatred forevermore cease.

Think of the earth as a global paradise,
Where mountain and desert will dazzle your eyes,
With beautiful flowers and shrubbery and trees,
With gay butterflies, songbirds and bees.

Think! Just as sure as God's Word is truth,
A man shall return to the days of his youth.
His flesh shall become as the flesh of a child,
And he words that he speaks will be cheerful and mild.

Think of a world where a lame man will leap,
>From crag to crag like a deer or sheep,
Where none will be deaf or none will be blind,
And the dumb shall sing and speak forth his mind.

Think of a world where each man is his brother,
Not esteeming himself above that of another,
Where man unto man will be friend to friend...
In a world without tears that will never end.

Think of a world where the dead will have risen
From their silent tombs that held them in prison.
To forever live, to love and caress...
Their loved ones and friends in righteousness.

Now a world without tears is not just a dream,
As to many a person it might seem.
For just as sure as the Bible is true,
A world without tears now lies before you.

And since such a world before you now lies,
Wouldn't you like to live in such a paradise?
And share all the blessings God has in store,
For all who would do his will evermore.

Good news of the Kingdom is still being sung
Throughout every nation, kingdom and tongue.
And all who are thirsting for Truth are invited
To join the new world society and be united.

We'll help you learn a whole lot more...
When we come calling at your front door.
We are his witnesses--one and the same.
"Jehovah" we call him--that is his name.

Join us in praising our God, Jehovah, our savior and King.
Through his son Christ Jesus we learn everything.
That we might live throughout endless years,
In a world without sorrow, A WORLD WITHOUT TEARS!