KEEPING THE ROMANCE IN A MARRIAGE (NO MATTER WHAT THE DIFFICULTIES!)

"I wanted to mention something I've been doing for several months that may be a good idea for some other spouses who have disabled mates.

  "I bought a very romantic journal (book you write in, the cover has a couple that are definitely in love) I only write every few months (about 4 times a year) some special things about my husband that I love.

"In the future if he should ever be completely disabled and get discouraged, I will read to him from the journal so I can always find ways to cheer him up. I write things like:

"Sometimes you may feel Parkinson's Disease has taken away too many things to make you feel the same attractive man you used to be----I don't see you that way! Your are still attractive to me. Your voice is softer, your words are sweeter. Sometimes my stomach still flutters when you say "I love you, you're wonderful"! Your walk is slower, gives me a chance to view your pleasant form, which will always be beautiful to me--no matter what. "

  Grace comments:
"There are so many things you can say about a person you love, in spite of the fact health goes bad, or we grow old. It really is true that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder---and when you say sweet things to each other, life is truly beautiful together. Its like the saying, 'being in love with you makes the rainy days warm and pleasant'

"We try to tell our children, happiness in marriage depends on what you say & do, and its a wonder how your mate changes when they are treated like they are the most special person in the world. When I was young I would make a great meal & spread a beautiful table for the Circuit Overseer. Now instead I would rather do it for my husband, and he knows that. (not that I do all the time, only on the week-ends) but 'little things mean so much'. Anyway these are just some suggestions on KEEPING THE ROMANCE IN A MARRIAGE NO MATTER WHAT THE DIFFICULTIES or no matter what the age!!

Grace   4/99
perfectset@juno.com

"...AS A LOVING COMPANION"

Looking back, I clearly recall the bitterness I felt when I first left the hospital. I knew that the wives of many others disabled like me had left their husbands. Had G. walked out on me, I would have understood. Instead, as a loving companion, she has stood by me supported by P., our daughter. With their help and the help of the congregation, I have been able to "widen out" and help others.
(2 Cor. 6:13) T.W.

"CHARLIE--MY FOREVER SWEETHEART!"

I just wanted to comment since my husband is disabled. He has Parkinson's Disease, and he knows it is a matter of time before he gets worse and worse.

He gets tired very quickly and has to go to bed by 7PM every night because when his body shakes (right now mostly his left side) all day, the only time it can rest is at night when he is sleeping because he is as still as a mouse.

He is such a JOY to be around!! He makes my bed everyday. (he wants to do whatever he can, while he can) it takes him 15 minutes to make a bed I could make in five minutes (we use a comforter for a bedspread) but still he enjoys helping me out. He mops my floors every Thurs. even though he may have to rest before he finishes this job. He rarely complains. I know he is in pain almost everyday, and I know it is frustrating when sometimes he will walk and his foot will drag, or he will almost fall if he is very tired. He still finds a reason to smile.

He encourages me in every way. He is very appreciative of anything I do for him, yet because I work full time I feel he does more for me then I do for him. He always tries to find something to laugh about...Sometimes I don't think the disabled know what a joy they can be to their spouses. Enduring, and knowing they will be in the New System (with us) and whatever happens in this system is so SHORT compared to Eternity.

I look forward to the time when I will retire from work, and be able to care for him full time. It will be my pleasure. We both look forward to the time when we will be young and healthy in the new system. We truly are 'all broken match sticks' in need of repair.

I am now printing this web site experiences so he can read them. Thank you so much!

Your sis in the truth Grace (and Charlie my 'forever sweetheart')
perfectset@juno.com

"How nice and joyful to have received your email.
I would love to contribute, and I will but if you could email my wife because:
A. She is smarter than me.
B. Without her I couldn't help a fly, and
C. She is disabled and still continues her witnessing which encourages
    me and helps me to see how we can have power beyond what is normal! "

Ralph
Rgmyself@aol.com